Dont confuse a condition with the underlying need that we are trying to meet
Summary
- Don't mix up a condition (such as buying a new car) with the underlying need that we are trying to meet (feeling successful, or safe, or satisfied)
Details
- Our underlying need might be met in a different way
Reflections
- I have always thought people confuse wanting to be rich with wanting to be happy. They want to be happy, but they think that riches will help them attain that goal. But really they just want to be happy.
References
Quotes
This distinction between conditions and experiences, between means and ends, is very important, and losing sight of it is the cause of much stress and unhappiness. For example, a person could get fixated and driven about attaining a particular condition such as a new car or a promotion, and then lose sight of the needs that attaining the condition would fulfill, and miss opportunities to experience those needs being met in other ways. Is the car itself important, or is a sense of comfort and safety what’s most valuable? Is the promotion itself the crux of the matter, or is it a sense of success and satisfaction? To put it a little differently, people are not unhappy because they don’t have a car or a promotion. They’re unhappy because they don’t feel comfortable, safe, successful, and satisfied.